Richelle Gossman Gossman Law Firm, LLC2024-02-28T16:40:45Zhttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1203487/2021/10/cropped-GossmanLawFirm-Fav-icon-32x32.jpgOn Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506352024-02-22T23:44:13Z2024-02-22T23:44:13ZNarcissists are often self-centered and exhibit arrogant thinking and behavior. They are typically inconsiderate and want to be worshipped and admired by those around them. Rage and contempt are common reactions for them, and they may make themselves try to appear superior to others.
Tips for going through a divorce with a narcissist
Narcissistic traits can manifest as an unwillingness to cooperate, a disregard for the emotional impact on their spouse and children and a focus on winning at all costs. Consider these tips when you’re divorcing a narcissist:
Set clear boundaries: Establishing and maintaining strict boundaries is essential. Relay these boundaries in a non-confrontational manner.
Document everything: Narcissists may twist facts to fit their narrative. Because of this, keep documentation of everything related to the divorce or children.
Stay focused on your goals: Keep your focus on the end goals, such as securing your financial future and ensuring the well-being of any children involved.
Seek support: Emotional support can come from therapists, family and friends. Consider joining a support group for individuals going through similar experiences.
Ultimately, going through a divorce with a narcissist requires careful planning because every decision must be thought out completely.
Legal representation is critical
If you’re divorcing a narcissist, securing legal representation that understands the dynamics of divorcing a narcissist is critical. A skilled legal team can often anticipate the tactics a narcissist may try to use during the divorce and have suitable strategies at the ready to address them immediately. They may also handle communications with the narcissist to reduce direct conflict and protect you from manipulation.
Divorcing a narcissist requires a well-thought-out approach that combines emotional support, strategic planning and legal strategy. Carefully planning every decision may take much of the stress out of the situation and keep your best interests at the heart of the process.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506122024-01-26T12:04:04Z2024-01-26T12:04:04ZYoung adults don't control custody decisions
Regardless of how strongly they may feel about custody issues, young adults do not actually control court determinations. Technically, in Alabama, young adults are not fully free from the oversight of their parents until they reach 19 years of age. Until they become legal adults, they are subject to the custody order created by the Alabama family courts.
Occasionally, judges consider input from the minor children in a family. They can factor their preferences into their final custody decisions. However, what the child requests is merely one of multiple factors that may influence how the judge eventually rules. The main focus should always be on what is in the best interests of the children. Even relatively mature teenagers may have a hard time prioritizing their long-term needs ahead of short-term concerns. Alabama family law judges typically understand that young adults lack the appropriate long-term perspective necessary to make informed and reasonable decisions about custody matters.
They can order parents to bring the children to court or require that they appear without them. Even if one parent in the family currently has a strained relationship with the children in the household, a judge could decide to order shared custody and require that the children spend plenty of time with both adults for their long-term developmental needs.
Parents should not try to pressure their children into avoiding the other parent or canceling parenting sessions. The adults in the family generally have an obligation to uphold the custody arrangements by encouraging their children to spend time with the other parent. Those who intentionally try to damage the relationship their children have with their other parent may put their own parental rights at risk.
Understanding what factors influence Alabama custody determinations may benefit those who are worried about the future of their relationship with their children.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506112023-12-26T21:33:17Z2023-12-26T21:33:17ZAt least some of the account may be subject to division
Although retirement accounts are often only in the name of one spouse, they may technically be marital property. Couples typically commit a certain amount of weekly income, which is marital income, to fund the account. That means that a portion of the retirement account is subject to division. Spouses may need to go over the financial records for each retirement account to determine which deposits predate the marriage and which occurred during the marriage. They can then determine how much of the account is marital property and how much is separate property.
People can avoid losses when dividing the account
Withdrawing funds from a 401(k), Roth IRA or similar retirement account could lead to financial penalties. Typically, people have to pay a 10% penalty on any early withdrawal in addition to any taxes due on that amount. However, it is possible to avoid those penalties and taxes through the use of a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO).
A QDRO can facilitate a penalty-free account division even if spouses split the retirement savings decades before retirement. A QDRO allows the plan administrator or investment professional to divide the account into two separate accounts in accordance with the property division order. Neither spouse has to pay taxes or penalties for dividing the account during the divorce if they use a QDRO properly.
While a loss of some retirement resources during a divorce is common, people can mitigate the total amount lost. Seeking legal guidance proactively can facilitate the realization of this important goal.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506102023-11-22T11:23:08Z2023-11-22T11:23:08Zequitable distribution statute according to their perception of the situation.
Whether spouses agree on a settlement or litigate property division, what happens with their marital home will often be a focal point of the process. What usually happens to the house where people live together during an Alabama divorce?
One spouse keeps the home
Either spouse might retain possession of the home after the divorce. If there are children in the family, the need for stability and maintaining consistent school enrollment might influence how a judge rules. Otherwise, either spouse could potentially retain the home. The spouse staying in the home often needs to refinance their home to withdraw equity in such scenarios.
The house is sold
People have recently purchased the property or if neither spouse wants to continue living there after the divorce, the best option might be to sell the home. Couples sometimes reach this conclusion on their own. Other times, judges tell them that is how they must proceed. Selling the marital home and splitting the proceeds is a way for each spouse to receive a fair amount of the accumulated equity to invest in rebuilding their lives after the divorce.
The former spouses maintain joint ownership
Sometimes, couples decide to treat their home as an investment. They might arrange for continued joint ownership to improve it and then sell it. They might even rent it out as a source of income. Occasionally, couples attempt birdnesting custody arrangements where they alternate staying in the marital home with the children and maintain a separate residence elsewhere.
When couples set their own terms during an Alabama divorce, they have the control to utilize additional creative solutions. Litigation can lead to a variety of different solutions based on what a judge deems would be reasonable and fair. Understanding that options for handling a couple’s most valuable marital assets may help people prepare more effectively for a divorce.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506092023-10-21T14:52:28Z2023-10-21T14:52:28ZCollaborative divorce starts with an agreement
Divorce mediation involves working with a neutral professional with specialized training to resolve marital disputes. Spouses can work through disagreements in a confidential setting to achieve a workable compromise. When successful, divorce mediation in Alabama ends with a signed agreement between the spouses clarifying the specific terms of their divorce.
Other forms of collaborative divorce may or may not start with a written agreement. Regardless of the approach, spouses generally enter a cooperative process after agreeing to approach it cooperatively and to work together to resolve all of their outstanding disputes. Collaborative divorce can involve mediation when spouses struggle to set terms that they can both agree are appropriate.
The main objective is successfully negotiating a settlement. Ideally, the final terms seem positive to both spouses. Sometimes, the process may include outside professionals who guide specific decisions, like financial and child specialists. In a collaborative divorce, spouses can negotiate directly with one another, or they can have their attorneys negotiate.
Mediation requires sitting down with an outside professional, although the spouses do not necessarily need to be together in the same room. Therefore, mediation can be a viable solution even in high-conflict divorce cases, whereas other forms of collaborative divorce often require a healthier dynamic at the beginning of the process.
When successful, non-litigated processes limit the conflict and expense typically inspired by an Alabama divorce. Ultimately, exploring alternatives to litigated divorce may help people feel more empowered when approaching the end of their marriages.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506082023-09-20T14:29:22Z2023-09-20T14:29:22ZWhen their circumstances have significantly changed
Maybe one parent recently lost their job, and they don't have any current income whatsoever. They could be at risk of support order enforcement efforts should they fall far enough behind on their child support payments. They may need to go to court to ask for a modification based on their change in income.
The parent receiving support could potentially ask for a change to the order based on an increase in costs for the children or an awareness of the good fortune of the other parent that increases their income. When there has been a major change in the family circumstances, the state may recalculate child support to better reflect the current ability of the parents to pay and the need of the children for support.
When three years have passed
Even if the parents do not specifically ask the Alabama family courts to review and modify the existing child support order for their family, the courts will do so automatically every 36 months or three years. Income levels and other family situations change all the time, so having a schedule for routine child support evaluations helps ensure that parents pay and receive appropriate amounts of support given their circumstances.
Simply agreeing to change child support amounts is not sufficient. An informal agreement between parents will not result in a reduction in one parent's responsibility to the other in the eyes of the state, meaning that enforcement efforts could still be possible. An informal arrangement to increase support would leave one parent dependent on the goodwill of the other. Going back to the family courts to modify a child support arrangement could be a good decision for either parent when situations change.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506072023-08-19T03:21:32Z2023-08-19T03:21:32ZThe same rules apply to debts as to assets
When it comes to property division, the rule on the books in Alabama requires the equitable distribution of marital property and debts. The courts should strive to set terms that are fair and appropriate given not only the resources shared by the spouses but other marital factors, like their unpaid contributions to the household, their health and even how long the marriage lasted.
When determining what debts are subject to division, the major concern is usually when someone acquired the debt. However, the intention of the debt is also important. Most debts accumulated during the marriage are subject to division even if they are only in the name of one spouse. However, debts taken on in secret or while conducting activities that undermine the marital relationship, like an affair, might not be subject to division.
Judges have the authority to order each spouse to pay certain debts or to award one spouse sole responsibility for most debts because they earn more money. It is important for people to understand that a family court order to pay a debt does not always mean that someone will, and so negotiating specific solutions for debts might be preferable to simply trying to avoid responsibility for them in the divorce.
Understanding what rules generally apply to marital debts can help those preparing to discuss property division with their spouse via negotiation or a judge as a result of a contested divorce process.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506062023-07-20T09:57:31Z2023-07-20T09:57:31ZMediation speeds up dispute resolution
As previously noted, waiting for a hearing in court can drastically extend how long it takes to resolve family law disputes. Those who successfully mediate and who sign an agreement may still have to wait for a hearing in front of a judge to formalize their settlement. However, they can start sharing custody or planning for their financial future based on the settlement they reached in mediation. The faster solution to a disagreement will mean less time spent in court, which can also mean that the parties to the disagreement have lower total costs to resolve their dispute.
Mediation keeps details private
High-conflict divorces in Alabama often have certain details that people don't want to make public. Whether one spouse misused financial resources for gambling or there are allegations of abuse, it may be necessary to discuss the conflicts between the spouses to arrive at an appropriate settlement. Such discussions in open court will result in the details of the allegations either spouse makes becoming public record. When couples discuss their disagreements and challenges in mediation, they have the protection of confidentiality. Only the agreement that they signed will be part of the public record for their divorce case.
Mediation gives control and can reduce conflict
When there are children involved or possibly a requirement for the divorcing spouses to continue working with each other in the future because of a business they own jointly, mediation can also serve as an important way of resolving conflict while preserving the functional relationship between the two parties planning a dispute. Parties also have more direct control over the specific terms set, which can be especially important when dividing parenting time.
Discussing mediation as an option might be a good approach for those preparing for a family law matter in Alabama and hoping to pursue a quieter, faster and more controlled process.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506052023-06-15T19:20:50Z2023-06-15T19:20:50ZWhen family schedules change
One of the most common reasons for people to ask for a custody modification is a shift in their household schedules. Maybe the children have moved from grade school to middle school and will now have a schedule that doesn't work with one parent's work arrangements, or perhaps one of the adults in the family moves to a different job. Changes in household schedules may force people to make adjustments to their custody order based on the availability of the parents and the needs of the children.
When relationships change
Maybe one of the parents remarried or had another child. Perhaps the onset of adolescence has generated a lot of tension between older children and one of the parents. Any time that there is a drastic shift in the family relationships, a judge may agree that the custody order requires an adjustment as well.
When one parent can't meet their children's needs
Some parents develop mental health issues or substance abuse problems after a divorce or simply cannot handle the demands of parenting without another adult present. When someone has attempted to share custody with their co-parent but now recognizes that the children don't have their needs met or are in danger well with the other parent, it may be necessary to go back to the courts and ask for an update to the existing custody order.
Parents can almost always agree to modify an existing order and trust that the court will approve that mutually-agreeable arrangement. Additionally, anytime that a judge agrees that there has been a substantial change in circumstances that alters what will be in the best interests of the children, they may agree to modify a custody order. What the kids need and their safety will always be the most important factor when making decisions about an initial custody order or requested modifications. Learning more about when people can change their custody orders may help those who are trying to co-parent under evolving circumstances.]]>On Behalf of Gossman Law Firm, LLChttps://www.gossmanlaw.com/?p=506042023-05-10T22:41:09Z2023-05-10T22:41:09Zequitable distribution. This means that marital property has to be divided fairly (not necessarily equally).
First, you have to separate the marital property out
Marital property refers to any assets and debts that were acquired during the marriage, (regardless of whose name is on the title or account). This can include real estate, bank accounts, retirement accounts, vehicles and personal property.
Separate property, on the other hand, refers to assets (and debts) that were acquired before the marriage, as well as gifts and inheritances received during the marriage. These are generally not subject to division in a divorce as long as they were not somehow commingled with marital assets.
Then, you have to consider what makes the division of what remains fair
Once the marital assets and debts are determined, they have to be split as fairly as possible. If the couple can come to an agreement on their own about what’s truly fair, then they likely can settle the issue with the court’s approval. If not, the court will consider things like:
The length of the marriage
The age, health and earning capacity of each spouse
Each spouse’s contributions to the marriage (including unpaid labor, like homemaking)
Any prior agreements (prenuptial or post-nuptial) that were made
The court is also free to consider anything else it considers relevant to the decision. For example, if one spouse worked two jobs to put the other through medical school before the divorce, the court may take that into consideration when dividing the marital assets.
Based on all these factors, the court will make a determination about how to divide the marital property. This may involve dividing certain assets between the spouses, or awarding certain assets entirely to one spouse while the other receives other assets or a cash payment.
Overall, the division of property in an Alabama divorce can be a complex process. Seeking legal guidance can help you get through this process and help to ensure that your interests are protected.]]>