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How to Tell Your Spouse you Want a Divorce

Posted by Gossman Law Firm, LLC || 10-Aug-2016

If you are having trouble in your marriage, you have likely thought about divorce before. If you have decided divorce is the best option for you and your family, determining just you plan to tell your husband or wife can be just as difficult as the decision. In this blog, our Birmingham divorce attorney discusses how tell your spouse you want a divorce.

Don’t Just Walk Away

If you have been married a long time, it is common for most couples to weave much of their lives together. You both likely have routines that revolve around each other. Which is why leaving your spouse by just packing your bags and disappearing while they are out of the house is one of the worst ways you can tell someone you want to leave them. Movies of the past may romanticize the idea of slipping away to live your life free from the ties of your ex, but realistically you are going to have to speak with your spouse again to divide assets and split custody of your children. Telling your spouse by abandoning them can only lead to resentment and frustrations that could be taken out on you during the divorce proceedings.

Designate Some Time Alone to Discuss

For those of us that have children, we are all too familiar with just how difficult it can be to get any “mommy and daddy time”. Telling your spouse, you are considering divorce while your children are around to interrupt, makes it difficult to discuss your true feelings. At Gossman Law Firm, LLC, we understand there is nothing worse than trying to have a serious, emotional, adult conversation only to be interrupted by your six-year-old running in to inform you they are 100% positive a monster lives under their bed. When you are ready to discuss divorce with your partner, schedule a babysitter to take the kids out to a movie or ask one of your relatives to watch them for the night. By doing this, you can focus on the discussion of divorce without interruption. It also gives your partner the chance to respond without the fear of getting too emotional in front of the children.

Be Kind but Explicit

If you are committed to the idea of divorce, be direct with your spouse. We are sure your spouse will be extremely hurt by your decision, but don’t give them hope unless you mean it. Go into the discussion with the understanding that you have had ample time to process the end of a significant relationship, while your spouse may not have had the same time. Try to be as compassionate and understanding as you can during this process.

Make Sure You’re Safe

Our Birmingham divorce lawyer understands that not all women are in marriages where they feel safe enough to tell their spouse they want to leave them. If your spouse has a history of domestic violence, consider the safest place to tell them. You may want to break the news to them in public a public place or in the company of a neutral third-party. If you fear for the safety of your life, you can always call Birmingham police department and request an escort home to gather your belongings. In addition to a police escort, they can place an emergency protective order on you making it illegal for your husband or wife to come within a certain distance of you.

Ready When You Need Us

Managing divorce can be difficult, but our Birmingham divorce lawyer can be with you during every step of the process from the initial paper work to child support and custody division. If you are looking for an Alabama lawyer who can listen to your needs and provide you with realistic solutions for your family’s future, look no further than Gossman Law Firm, LLC.

Call to schedule your free consultation today!

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